Fine. I'll sleep in my office
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
