Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
