Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
