Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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