Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Send help, water and tortillas.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
