Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
