I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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