Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
