I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
