8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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