How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
