you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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