perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
