so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
