She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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