You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
