Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
