Define "chronic" masturbator.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
