How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just blew my weed a kiss
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
