Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize