ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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