Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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