And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
