I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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