I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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