ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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