I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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