redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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