So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
