Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
