I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize