one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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