Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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