I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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