Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
