The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
