I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
