Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
