Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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