I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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