Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
MIDGETS
????
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
