he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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