I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
