he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
