Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
