Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
