No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
