friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize