So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
