He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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