yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
