hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize