everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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