why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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