i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
