oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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