i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
