Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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